Why can we feel so down, when everything in life is great...
Do you have those times in your life where on the surface everything in your life is going great, but internally you feel so down, and you can't explain why!?
You've got everything you've wanted, the car, the home, the relationship, the family, the financial stability, or the lifestyle and freedom you've worked so hard for, BUT STILL, there's an underlying sadness, despair or discontentment you feel.
You find yourself at times during the day unable to sit still, feel contentment with yourself, or have sudden bouts of sadness and melancholy.
Rest assured, what you may be experiencing is completely normal, and something many men deal with.
What I've learned through observing multiple periods of myself going through unexplained misery and working with the many of the men I have coached and mentored, is this...
When we as men feel our safest and most stable, our subconscious reveals and brings to the surface what we've repressed our whole lives. This could be trauma, unprocessed emotions, childhood wounding and whatever we have hidden from ourselves for a very long time, that we choose not to ever see or re-live again.
The reason why it may come up now, is because you're probably in a period where you have created stability in your life, you're no longer in survival mode, you're surrounded by safe and loving people, you could have stopped numbing yourself through addictions e.g. alcohol, drugs, porn, TV, work, sport...
Because we aren't distracted with trying to survive, certain addictions, vices and numbing, the subconscious feels it's a safe time to reveal what needs your attention and needs to be healed within.
So this can explain why you may be in a period of life, where everything is going so well externally, but internally you're all of a sudden deeply emotional, sad, depressive, angry, discontent and the list goes on.
Our subconscious is trying to process our past and the suppressed emotions that come with it, because as men that's what we do. We were never taught how to process these real-time, it was more about 'suck it up', 'be a man' and 'boys don't cry'. So we choose to suppress.
The problem now, is all the suppression finally catches up to us as an adult and we have to deal with it or else it will continue to haunt us in the background, through abnormal emotional outbursts, pushing loved one's away, self sabotage and deep emotional ruts.
So Evan, how do we do change this...
I'm glad you asked!
Well... It's time to feel and heal.
We heal what we choose to feel.
If you're experiencing these emotions that come up randomly that bring you down, choose to feel it fully and process what you should have processed many years ago.
Allow your mind to go back to where it needs to go back to, yes it might be painful, but you're a grown adult now and no longer that younger version of yourself. You're now safe and remember this, as your mind goes to past memories. Feel compassion for your younger self, who did the best they could at the time.
While we feel these emotions, we want to also release the energy of it. So if you're sad, allow yourself to cry, if you're angry, allow yourself to be angry and let it out in a healthy way e.g. scream into a pillow, punch a boxing bag, exercise, tense your body and release...
Finally we want to express what we've suppressed by either talking it through with someone trusting, a professional, or writing it down in a journal. When we choose to express it, we finally own the pain, because whatever we make conscious no longer controls us.
Final thoughts... If you're going through this right now, remember you're not alone, and this a healthy process! Your subconscious is telling you that you're ready to heal and finally let go of your past pain and wounding.
This is part of the transformation of you stepping into the next highest version of yourself!
A more whole, loving, open, powerful and healed man. How exciting :)
Remember.. We heal what we choose to feel.
PS... If this resonates with you, and you would like support whilst going through this challenging period. We can set up a free 30 minute discovery call, obligation-free and I would be personally happy to point you in the right direction of how to breakthrough this.