A reality check of why you're not sticking to your goals...

I had a very powerful conversation with a client yesterday, and the topic he brought to the conversation was about wanting to create a routine for exercise and he wanted to be more disciplined.

However, he owned up that his pattern was to set a goal, start and then after a few weeks if he didn't see any immediate results, he would stop and give up. Life gets in the way and then the goal is forgotten.

Sound familiar?

Give us men a goal and our eyes light up. There's something about setting a goal and the thought of accomplishing something beyond us, which get's us excited and we experience a flood of energy that surges through us.

It's as if there's a dopamine hit that we get from just setting a goal... The actual work that needs to be done to get there is irrelevant, let just celebrate the fact I've created a goal! Haha

Soon after, once we come to realise how far back we are, or how far away we are from the goal, we lose faith and then life get's in the way, excuses roll in and you start to convince yourself the goal is actually getting in the way of 'life' and you decide it's no longer a priority.

So, what's going on here?

When I asked him about where he's succeeded in other areas of his life or achieved goals, there was a completely different story. I asked him what were the motivating factors and he came up with several answers, which led to one conclusion...

He had a big 'WHY'. Deep and compelling reasons why he had to achieve those goals, it was as if something was on the line, or life would immediately be transformed for the better on the other side of achieving them.

When I asked him his WHY to establish an exercise routine, it wasn't nearly as influential or powerful.

So then I asked him, "What's the cost to you and your loved one's, for you choosing not to exercise?"

That's when the conversation suddenly changed, and I saw this man in an instant take complete accountability of his role as the leader of his own life, in his relationship and as a father. It was beautiful to witness.

Why we lack discipline, is because we don't have a big enough WHY.

Achieving big goals is tough, they're designed that way because it's not about the destination but it's about who we become in the process.

In order for us to grow we need to experience tension, otherwise we stay the same. I see countless of men these days choose to remain safe, comfortable and complacent, especially the one's who on the surface 'have it all'.

Why many of these men essentially 'give up' on their goals, is because they don't have a big enough why that fuels them to continue to drive and remain disciplined through all the setbacks and adversity that's inevitable on any journey.

They're not fully aware of the consequences of what it means to them and the one's they love by not achieving what's important.

In saying that, I guarantee these men have achieved many other great feats in their life, extraordinary one's in fact, where they had a big WHY. Sometimes, we just need to remind ourselves what we are truly capable of and WHY.

If you're sitting there and this resonates with you, and you notice you have been slack towards a goal (I have been here many times as well sadly). Then I encourage you to ask yourself why you're really wanting it, and what are the costs of you not achieving it.

If it's not going to change your life or make positive change, then fair enough, maybe concentrate your efforts elsewhere.

But if your WHY is big and the cost of you not achieving it, is even bigger...

Well there's your motivation right there my man!