The downfall & resurgence of the performing man

I meet men in my world who believe they have had to constantly ‘perform’ in their lives, including myself.

We had to be a certain way that we thought we needed to be in order to be accepted, loved and to avoid pain.

In the pursuit of continuously performing to create and uphold this idealised image our ourselves, of the good guy, the nice guy, the guy who has it all together…

We slowly abandon the core of who we really are.

As a result, we begin to dislike who we become, harbouring self-hatred, lacking clear and meaningful direction in our lives.

We were never taught how to define life on our terms and build something deeply fulfilling that we desired, rather we latched on to whatever came our way in hopes to give us what we seek.

We wait to be chosen, rather than to be the one choosing.

The skill of the shapeshifter became our greatest asset, the ability to mould ourselves into whatever we thought would get praise and validation to fill the void within.

Everything would look great on the outside, but miserable and a mess on the inside.

We continuously ‘perform’, until when either we do something ‘out of character’ or something happens to us that confronts this idealised image we have created.

That’s when everything starts to crumble.

We’re confronted with the realisation, I am not who I thought I was.

This sobering moment makes us want to shut everyone out and run, in a bid to avoid being found out.

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Then reality finally hits us… We had spent our entire lives hiding, rather than taking ownership of our darkness, shame and pain.

In other words, our authentic self.

As a man in this situation we have a choice…

Do I continue to hide and suffer in silence, or shine light and take ownership of my darkness.

It’s in our darkness as a man, where our greatest potential lies.

When the ‘performing’ man decides to face the parts of himself he avoids, he begins to take control back of his life.

He gains access to his raw and natural masculine energy, frees himself from emotional pain and anxiety that’s held him back from feeling comfortable in his own skin.

His innate self confidence begins to arise within, now the self-hatred and worrying thoughts have ceased.

He is a man who now leads himself to a better reality, because he knows it’s his divine right and takes those he loves with him.

He is a man who trusts himself, he lives a life doing what he wants and what matters to him the most, with a purpose greater than himself.

He loves passionately, deeply fulfilled in his relationships, while embodying his sovereignty.

The performing man, becomes a man of freedom.

Are you a high achieving man who wants to finally free themselves from anxiety & negative self-talk, so you can deepen presence in your relationships, embody newfound confidence and unlock the energy to do what you know you’re capable of doing in the world?

My 1:1 coaching might be for you, click here to learn more and apply.

Please note, I only work with those who are willing to take serious self responsibility & are fully committed to this deep process, in a long term container.