An unconventional guide to letting go of resentment

Resentment is ugly, but at the same time delicious.

It’s so juicy to be able to blame, be frustrated and passively feel anger towards others who may have wronged you, taking any ownership away from ourselves.

The problem is, all that heavy and fiery emotion, doesn’t actually transfer to other person.

Instead, it eats away at us, slowly. We turn the anger and resentment back towards us, and it starts eating away at our immune system and depletes our energy.

While we silently hope the other suffers, we suffer.

I’ve held much resentment over my life towards different people, in which they have no idea about, but it’s stopped me from experiencing so much peace and joy.

Resentment is like carrying an extra 10kg in a bag on our shoulders, while we try to do life.

Once we let go of resentment, it’s like we are 10kg lighter and we get to do life from this place.

A crucial piece when it comes to letting go of resentment, is of course acceptance and forgiveness, however this can be challenging for many.

One way to help this process is to explore our shadow of what we resent.

We all have a shadow part of our psyche, an unconscious part of ourselves, where we hide all the parts of us that we dislike, ashamed of and suppressed.

For what we resent, there is a part of us that has done the same or is fully capable of doing.

If you resent someone for bullying you, where have you been a bully before in your life?

If you resent someone for not listening to you, where have you not listened to another in your life?

If you resent someone for not showing you love, where have you not shown love to someone in your life?

For me, I was bullied at times growing up, and I resented those bullies, but I soon realised I too have been a bully to others.

In this humbling realisation, I was confronted with the fact it had nothing to do with the guys I bullied as people, I bullied them because it was actually a way of offloading my pain to them and fulfilling my need to be accepted by other ‘bullies’.

How ironic.

The more we accept the fact, we are fully capable of doing and have done what we actually resent in another, the greater our ability to have empathy and forgive, ultimately allowing us to let it go.

It doesn’t mean we let people walk all over us or let things slide.

What it means is we get to let go of the heavy emotion that causes us pain, and then learn to set stronger boundaries for what is okay and not okay for us, from a healthier place this time.

When we finally choose to let go of resentment, you will be surprised how safer people will automatically feel around you.

Face your shadow, and let go of the pain.