The silent blocker for men starting new healthy habits in their 30s & 40s

A common complaint I get from male clients in their 30s & 40s when they want to start a new healthy habit is they start and then stop shortly after, never getting consistency.

They then procced to judge themselves by claiming this was so easy 10-20 years ago when they were younger, and now it’s 10x difficult.

This shame spiral makes them feel worse and sabotages any attempt to maintain their promise.

It’s as if they are comparing themselves to who they were when they were 20, and all of a sudden forgotten the 15-20 years that’s gone by since then, and then feeling bad about it.

Reality check… We are no longer who we used to be, we are aging and changing, and the longer we try to hold on to who we used to be, the longer we remain stuck in this pattern of starting something and stopping.

A prevalent example is the high achieving man, who’s now an established leader and worked himself to the ground to get where he is now, but consequently his health has suffered along the journey.

He promises to focus on his health and get back into shape, which is great, but he starts to use the same formula he used 15-20 years ago when he was an energetic student, athlete or a gym junkie, and had all the time in the world and insanely high testosterone levels.

In his first session back he tries to lift what he used to, run those old distances or eat like he once did, and within a week or two he either can’t walk due to soreness, injured, or constantly ravenous and relapses back to old habits.

He judges himself and gives up.

If this pattern feels familiar, it’s time to let go of who we used to be and accept where we are at now. It’s okay and it’s a natural part of life.

I always encourage these men trying to get back into consistent healthy habits to shift their attitude from performance to enjoyment.

As we get older and time becomes poor, we tend to prioritise what we enjoy more.

By focusing on doing what’s enjoyable for us, it’s far more sustainable, we become healthier and happier as a result, which means we show up better in our lives and in our responsibilities.

Rather than taking out our shame on others around us, for not being able to do what we used to.

If enjoyment involves others, find other men to train with or join a social sports community.

If you want to become a healthier man, find enjoyment in movement once again.