Why we numb as men

Because we are overwhelmed by the sensations, emotions and worrying thoughts that’s happening inside of us.

We become so overwhelmed that it pushes us outside of our capacity to hold all this and still function, so we resort to numbing in order to deal with it.

We numb to find reprieve from it all, and that’s why that first beer is so so crisp.

That first sip, Netflix episode, Insta scroll, porn, instantly sooths us, because it represents momentary relief, and that relief is what becomes addictive to us.

A way that worked for me to move through my numbing (which is still a work in progress), is to sit and feel into what we are trying to relieve ourselves from.

We need to learn - What is this behaviour trying to stop me from experiencing?

This deepened self-awareness and understanding of ourselves over time will allow us to get to the root of why we numb in the first place, and learn to address the feeling rather than go to the numbing tactic.

e.g. My drinking stopped me from experiencing anxiety. I couldn’t allow myself to feel anxious because it was way too overwhelming and uncomfortable. As I finally identified this, when I allowed myself to feel and process my anxiety, I quickly learned the lesson my anxiety was trying to teach me - I didn’t trust my future self to handle future situations that I deemed negative. So my pattern was to delay doing the necessary work required to create a better future for myself. Numbing protected me and delayed me from what was required for me to grow the hell up.

The more we can hold and handle that feeling without reacting, the greater control we will build with ourselves and I know for a fact, us men love to be in control.

In the Men’s Circle of the Ascension Men’s Community, we create a space for all the members to explore what we may be avoiding, reflect blind spots and support each other to create an action plan to develop healthier behaviours with accountability… So we can all get way more shit done!

If you're interested in joining the Ascension Men's Community or want to learn more, click on the following: Join the Ascension