Want Confidence? Build Competency, Not a Mask

So many men are presenting ourselves with a mask as if we’ve got our lives together / figured out.

When deep down we feel lost, disconnected, insecure, directionless and distant from our lives, our families and ourselves.

We are scared to admit we have no idea what to do, how to get back on track, how to solve our problems and move beyond our current stuckness.

We hide what’s really underneath, which becomes a normal way of showing up in the world.

Which makes us feel like an imposter, and when we feel like an imposter, it destroys our confidence.

The solution is usually grind harder eventually burning out, or going into self loathing and numbing.

I did this for years… My personal business struggled for quite some time, due to no confidence to market myself as a coach, because deep down I felt like an imposter, I was scared I’d be found out as not good enough, which at the time I just wasn’t. So I stopped hiding this fact, and went to work, on becoming as competent as possible and studied my ass off.

The only way to dissolve this mask is to drop it, to stop hiding and let yourself feel how you actually feel right now.

It’s then you can start to put yourself back together with guidance, resources, support and community.

You get clear on what competency you need to build, because with competency comes confidence.

You can only build competency when you can expose what you’re hiding or masking, and use what this as a starting point to build yourself back up.

E.g. Feel like a failure in your relationship, own it, and then go learn about how to be a better partner vs pretending everything is okay when it’s not.

When we feel capable and skilled, we ooze confidence.