The ‘have it all together’ mask and how it’s sucking your life away
There are many men out there who present ourselves like we have it all together, me included for a very very long time.
It’s like we try to create this persona that we don’t need anything from anyone, we are self reliant and hyper independent. Wearing it like a badge of honour.
Creating this mask we put on as soon as we leave our home or turn on the computer, to show the world we’ve made it, everything is amazing and I’ve got my s**t together.
On the outside we look unstoppable and unfazed, but underneath it feels like fragile cracked glass, one break away from shattering into a million pieces.
What’s the cost of this mask?
The cost is isolation and loneliness.
We wear the ‘have it all together mask’ because we deeply fear people will find out we are actually deeply insecure about ourselves and that we aren’t good enough.
We fear what people may find out about us will lead to judgement, criticism, being deemed as unlovable and rejection.
So, our automatic behaviour when wearing this mask is to keep people away from us, to prevent ever being found out.
We essentially reject others, before they can reject us.
Which leaves us feeling isolated, lonely, and exhausted from having to constantly hide parts of ourselves, holding up this mask.
How do we change this?
Bring light to what we have hidden in front of other safe men.
When we reveal what we have been hiding for so long in a safe space with other men without judgement, we then no longer have to carry the burden alone, we get to be supported, and accepted for who we are really, not for the mask we wear.
One of the major motivating factors for me creating the Ascension Men’s Community, is because sharing what I hid from the world in a men’s community a few years ago, changed my life and helped me break through the suffering of hiding who I was.
I wanted to create a space for men to do the same now with the Ascension.
If there is no shame, there is no more hiding. If there is no more hiding, there is more openness to receive, connect and flourish as our authentic selves.