How I reclaimed my energy back as a high performing man
I meet many high performing men on the verge of burning out or are constantly exhausted, and this was me for a very long time.
How I reclaimed my energy back was simple...
I stopped hiding.
Most of my life I learned who I needed to be in order to be loved, accepted and feel a sense of belonging by others.
I made a decision I would conform to who I needed to be in order to belong, and not feel isolated, different to everyone else and lonely.
I was the chameleon, shifting into anything I needed to be in order for others to like me.
After 30+ years of it, I grew tired.
I thought something was wrong with my blood, I looked at my diet, I checked if I was fit enough, I looked at my sleep patterns, and everything was good.
One of the biggest lessons I learned was, it’s exhausting to be someone we are not.
I’ve been tired for so many years wondering why, when it was there all along, not being myself and having to hide anything about me that didn’t fit the image my ego was trying to uphold.
Ways I hid myself:
Lying in order to look impressive and prevent feeling shame
Saying yes to everything, even when I didn’t want to
Suppressing my anger, frustration and rage in order to be seen as a ‘nice’ guy
Make big promises to other people to win them over, and never follow through
Avoided conflict like the plague, never expressing what I truly thought
The list can go on…
The way I reclaimed my energy was to make a decision to stop hiding who I was.
A big part of this process was looking at all those parts of me I was ashamed of, I hid from the world and didn’t want to take responsibility for.
I had to own, there are parts of me that are lazy, a coward, manipulative, entitled, scared, but also there are parts of me that are fun, playful, confident and powerful.
When I explored and expressed these parts with other men who were safe and non-judgemental on the same journey, this allowed me to create safety and acceptance of these parts of myself.
This was incredibly healing, because I finally learned it was safe to be me and I didn’t need to hide anymore.
The by-product of this was a hell of a lot more energy, because I was no longer using energy to hide.
I’m still discovering new things about me I’ve been hiding every day on this journey, which is humbling, and at the same time I’ve never had more energy in my life!
If you’re feeling low on energy, and physically you’re good, the question is – Are you hiding who you truly are?
Because that is extremely exhausting!