Why you keep attracting the same type of people in your life

Ever feel like life is stuck on repeat?

You move jobs, only to find you now have the same angry boss.

You move city, you make the same type of flakey friend.

You end a relationship, then end up with the exact same person in a different form.

You think it’s either coincidence or that’s life, but deep down you’re sick of it and wonder why the hell do these types of people keep showing up in my life?

You find yourself frustrated and angry, already resenting them and finding ways to reject them, because you anticipate how they are going to treat you… It’s déjà vu

Here’s the thing – We unconsciously attract people in our lives to show us what we have not addressed and owned in ourselves.

Our brain is always looking for what is familiar so we can be comfortable, not necessarily happy or healthy.

Our mind wants to exert as little effort as possible and wants to maintain the image we have created for ourselves, so it will seek out those who allow us to do that, again, whether healthy or not.

I remember I attracted the same type of avoidant partner consecutively for many years, with a common trait of being highly critical of me, emotionally unavailable and found myself constantly anxious around them.

I couldn’t understand why, but after working through my unconscious patterns with a coach, it dawned upon me two major realisations…

I was attracting the same love dynamic I had as a child with a parent, my dad. He would constantly criticise me, be emotionally unavailable and I’d be anxious around him and want to his approval desperately. I was attracting this very dynamic because it was what I was familiar with and was normal for me. I unconsciously believed that was love.

Secondly, these women came into my life to reveal to me that I lacked love and respect for myself. I learned I was co-dependent and based my self-worth on their approval, which led to me always becoming so needy and desperate. These women showed me where I needed to heal, and that was to validate myself.

We attract the same type of people and relationships in our lives for two major reasons, because we unconsciously seek what is familiar and to identify what we need to own in ourselves.

If you have the courage to look at your unconscious patterns, become aware of the triggers and finally disrupt them, you will never have to settle for relationships you don’t want ever again.