The Silent Battle That’s Killing Men
“I don’t want to be a burden.”
The words most men mutter to themselves when undergoing a personal challenge.
Most of us believe we will either tarnish relationships or ruin how we’re perceived if we share our suffering with another.
So, we take a deep breath, “suck it up,” push the emotions down, and get on with it.
It seems heroic, stoic, and resilient, but the real cost is deadly.
We push people away in fear of burdening them, disconnecting from others and leaving them wondering what they did wrong.
Suppressed emotions build up and eventually explode in unhealthy ways we later regret.
We’re left alone in our heads, spiraling into shame and hopelessness.
We believe that because we haven’t been able to “figure this out” on our own, we’re failures. Not good enough. So, we push people away even more.
This was me for most of my life.
And it got worse in the last year. I encountered challenges I had never faced before and decided to take them on alone - be the lone wolf.
I didn’t want to be a burden. So I kept it to myself, isolated, and thought I was looking out for others. But really, I was spiralling into a shame pit, where deep down, I didn’t believe I was worth being around.
It wasn’t until I hit rock bottom and broke down from the pain that I realized the truth:
I had spent my life chasing achievement to become “enough” to be loved - when in reality, I had people who loved me no matter what.
This is the reality for so many high-achieving men.
We believe we need to accomplish big things to be worthy of love. If we’re not achieving or living up to impossible expectations, we feel worthless.
But the more I allowed people I trust into my heart, in particular other men, the more loved and at peace I felt.
We’re allowed to share the load, just like we want to help others share theirs.
Surprise, surprise… others want to do the same for us. We just never asked.
I tragically witness the decline of so many men lost to silent battles with their mental health. This can change if we let people in and realize that the greatest purpose in life lies in relationships.
Even if you’re not silently battling yourself, by letting someone in, you could change their life.
Who can you let in today?