Evolving from Imposter Syndrome
This week’s workshop in The Ascension was all about Imposter Syndrome and how to evolve from it.
This is something I’ve personally battled with many times in my life, and quickly learned that all the other guys in the community do too.
Most of us still battle with it now in some form or another.
What’s really important to know about Imposter Syndrome is that everyone has it and deals with it.
Everyone at some stage in their life have experienced it. The feeling like a fraud or the fear of being found out as a fraud, some are just better at hiding it than others.
When I first got on stage to speak at an event, I felt like a fraud, having thoughts like “How am I up here… Surely, they’re not listening to me… If only they knew this was all an act… I wonder how stupid I look right now… I can’t believe I just said that... Yuck”.
When I first made the Philippines Rugby Team, I felt like a fraud, having thoughts like “I don’t deserve to be here… I’m so lucky to be here, It’s only a matter of time they realise I’m shit… I’m going to stuff this up and I will be found out… I wonder how long I’ll get away with this.”
When I first became a coach, I felt like a fraud, having thoughts like “Oh shit, what do I do now… Can I really help this person? What the hell do I know… I can’t believe they’re here in front of me, I don’t deserve their trust... What if they find out I’m not very good.”
As embarrassing as it is to share those inner thoughts at the time, there is a common pattern here.
Every time I deeply felt Imposter Syndrome it was when I levelled up, shifted into a new role, environment and embarked on a higher path, a new journey.
I believe Imposter Syndrome is a sign of growth, and every time we go up a new level, we face a new devil. It’s a positive sign we are on a new path of growth.
I believe it’s a part of life and we can’t rid of it, but instead we can evolve from it.
Even though at the time I had those thoughts I shared earlier, I learned to evolve them and succeed in each of those areas, to become the man I am today.
So, now I have a whole new set of devils or version of imposter syndrome I deal with lol, and that’s okay because that's my next path. I’ve got the knowledge, support and tools to continue to evolve from it.
We must learn not to try to make our world less scary, but become more confident in our ability that we can overcome our fears and succeed. We must become more courageous and trust we have the capacity to source and process all the information we need to evolve ourselves above the current set of problems.
We become bigger than our challenge.
We become bigger by:
Asking more questions and being comfortable with not knowing everything right now
We expose ourselves to what scares us voluntarily
We accrue evidence of the small wins and progress we make along the way that proves we are, who we say we are
We surround ourselves with people who truly see us, want to support us and also is willing to tell us the truth and point out our blind spots
These are ways we can begin to evolve from Imposter Syndrome into becoming the man we want to become.
However, there is one more thing that doesn’t get spoken about a lot…
If we believe we are an imposter… Then, there must be some truth to it.
There is a reason why you feel the way you do and what’s keeping you blocked.
It’s up to you to ask yourself these tough questions, and find out what’s really unconsciously contributing to you feeling this way?
When you find this, you find your clear path forward.
I took The Ascension guys through this process on Wednesday night, and their path forward was clearly revealed. Some decent reality checks were made.
Ask the hard questions, and you’ll find your truth.